Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I do not have the answers but I have some advice.

I wish I had the answer to this whole dialogue on how to prevent domestic violence. Every since the allegations about Chris Brown hitting Rihanna it seems that it is all everyone wants to talk about.
I do know one thing this “cause of the month “will be swept under the rug until the next celebrity fiasco. However those who are going thru domestic violence right now do not have the advantage of sweeping it under the rug and as sure as I write this blog someone right now is frightened for his or her life because a lover/ wife/husband/friend is on their way home. I am a survivor of domestic abuse I was never hit but I was verbally abused. Things were said to me that still hurt me to this day, but I thank God and I got thur it and i got our of it , everyone is not so lucky.

Recently I was on a panel about emotional abuse and was asked if I could give young women five pieces of advice before entering into a relationship with someone what would it be. Here goes:

1) Be secure in yourself-Of course not all of us are 100% sure all of time. But it is important to know who you and who you belong to. God entrusted your heart to you take care of it, it is important to do so. Proverbs 4:23Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

2) When people tell you who they are BELIEVE THEM –Maya Angelou. When I went out with my ex on the second date he told me and I quote “ I have a whole dark side and you don’t bring that out in me.” HMMMMMM! I should have gotten out of the car and walked home even thourgh I was in Atlantic City. So often folks tell on themselves, and they are usually telling the truth.

3) If he or she talks bad about every person they have ever been with take that as a hint. The only common denominator In all of those relationships is them. Hence the problem

4) If that person goes around telling you how great they are all the time and have to put other folks down to do so run. If they are so great their actions will dictate that.

5) If that person shows any side of anger to ther kids, thier family, co-workers etc… take that as a sign that you are next. Behavior all behavior is consistent.

Those are my rules I tell young sisters and brothers all the time And believe me it is not just what I preach it is what practice.